I remember the first time someone suggested that I should take anti-depressants I was reluctant to consider it.
My parents were worse, they were completely against the idea to start with.
But as my depression continued in its downwards spiral, my parents agreed to me trying Fluoxetine, an anti-depressant often used for treating adolescents.
(I myself was very depressed at this time so didn’t really care if I started taking them or not)
It didn’t make much difference at first, but after a few weeks I felt my mood lifting. I was still depressed, but no where near the scale I was before. Things seemed to be going pretty well, but meanwhile my eating disorder was getting worse, and after 6+ months of being on Fluoxetine, it started losing its effect.
I was admitted first as a day patient in October, then as an inpatient in December to the Priory adolescent eating disorder unit. Here they put me on vitamins, calcium, omega 3, and also kept me on Fluoxetine to start with.
In around February I finally changed medication, after describing some vivid daydreams I’d been having to my key worker, who was worried that it could be a side effect of the medication. So gradually we decreased the dose, from 150mg to nothing, before starting on a new medication: Sertraline.
Sertraline is both anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, which I was hopeful about seeing as my anxiety has always had a big impact on my life, (though before therapy I might not have realised it).
It didn’t disappoint. I’m still not 100% better, but both my anxiety and depression are, for the most part, more under control now.
I still get extremely anxious and pretty depressed at times, but it’s times like that where I just have to sit back and think about what I was like back in January time… And I have definitely improved since then.
Although the effects of Setraline are starting to wear off again, I think this is mainly due to the fact I have been on this dose for a while and might need upping again, (I’m on 100mg now).
Not that much is known about Setraline in the general scheme of things, which makes me a bit nervous as I’m not entirely sure what it could potentially do to my body.. But I guess I just have to trust my Doctors and go with it.
Anti depressants/ anxiety medications in my opinion are worthwhile.
People are quick to say “it’s about being positive and working hard, not medication”, but no matter how hard I worked I need/ needed the medication to allow me to reach it.
There is nothing wrong or shameful about needing a bit of extra help. Don’t be quick to judge medication; true, it isn’t right for everyone, but some people need that extra support and that’s ok.
Thanks for reading.