F for Faces

Sometimes when I can’t sleep I like to draw. Usually I draw on my ipad because then I don’t need to fuss about with getting my pencil case and notebook out (plus things never rub out properly and I always manage to get pencil marks on my bed!), but recently I got a calligraphy set which is very exciting!

So I drew some faces. I am awful at drawing faces (as you can see), so I usually go for abstract which avoids the need for them to look realistic!

I decided to test my calligraphy pens out in an unconventional way.. With my eyes shut! Half them are with my eyes open and bald with my eyes shut.. Bet you’d have a hard time guessing which was which though! (The iPad ones were drawn with my eyes open)

  

I remember having to do similar exercises in inpatient to try to challenge perfectionism, and as it’s pen you can’t rub it out! It was a bit challenging actually but I embraced the fact it wasn’t perfect and it helped distract me and go to sleep afterwards.

Drawing it a great way to distract yourself, and it can sometimes help you actually relaise how you are feeling. Sometimes I’m just so tired, overwhelmed and hopeless and I don’t know how I feel, and drawing somehow helps me calm down and gather my thoughts.

If you suffer from anxiety or an eating disorder where up need distracting after food, I really would give drawing a go. I don’t do it as often as I like but it’s a really great thing to try.

Thanks for reading.

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We’re all like stretchy yellow men sometimes..

I got given one of these wonderful stretchy yellow men by my friend the other day, it reminded me of when I was little, I loved buying little bits and bobs like that or winning them on the 2p machine at the Pier when I visited my granny.

But now when I see it, you stretch them too far and the smile looks like it’s going to break. Don’t you feel like that sometimes? That people are pulling and pushing you and one day you’re just going to snap?

Anyway, I played on this theme and did a drawing last night to distract myself as I was feeling a bit anxious.

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The black words are things we ‘say’ to people and the grey are things we really feel below it. Obviously no, we are not stretchy and don’t tell people to stretch us, but in the way we talk to others I’m sure at times we are making ourselves vulnerable to being hurt because we are sad and want others to be happy.. Or maybe that’s just me.

A poem:

A toy, she thought,
She pulled and tugged
She twisted and yanked
And pinged it about.

A toy, she thought

But when it snapped
She cried and screamed
Ripped it inside and out

The mother came in,
Swept it away
Hugged her daughter
Bought a new one for a new day

But the cracks are already there,
Beginning to show

How long will it be
Until the cracks start to grow?

How long until,
The stretchy man cannot hide
Those fractures and pains
All bottled up inside.

And how long until
The little girl knows
That man is not a toy
He’s the pain inside us that grows?

Sorry for the random post, I’d be interested to see if people agreed with me though, do you ever feel like that?

This week has been tough on so many levels, just want it all to stop but I know if I want that then I have to keep fighting through. Any motivation would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

The monster of mental health [my original artwork]

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I wanted a way to express myself other than destructive things or writing things down where I would dwell even more on my thoughts. Doing this piece of art has been a big release and helps me identify how I feel.

This is my idea and I didn’t use a reference, I’m not very good at art but I like how this turned out I think.. To me it helps represent the thoughts and feelings that come with depression, eating disorders, and other mental health issues where you feel isolated and overwhelmed.
If more people knew what it felt like and how hard it was, people would be more accepting, understanding and supportive? You can always hope.

I had so many things to write, I didn’t even fit them all in!

[Reposts and reblogs are welcome, but please give credit]

Thanks for reading.

Shackled to life

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Drawn on 24/11/2013.

I had to edit over my signature as this is an anonymous blog and I didn’t want to share my full name, so sorry about that. Apart from that, the photo is unedited.

I’m not great at drawing but I would love to know your thoughts on this.
For me, drawing and poetry both really helped and continue to help me express myself. They don’t have to be amazing works of art/literature; mine personally were just for me to see and to feel like the emotions were ok to feel? I don’t know if that makes sense. Basically, there is no need to ignore emotions, because they are important and it’s ok to feel upset or down.

We wouldn’t know happiness if we had never first felt sadness.

In this particular drawing I was feeling hopeless and trapped, with nowhere to go and constantly being judged and imprisoned in my mind (link to the blog name!) , and constantly tied to your illness with no separation of you vs. your illness. I also felt (and still feel) trapped in life, not being able to leave, and feeling stuck in a world where you don’t belong.
And, for me, this is what the drawing represents.

If you’d like to use this drawing please go ahead, but make sure you give this blog credit and link it here.

Thanks for reading.