You know when you’re in a room full of people, and someone is trying to get everyone to be quiet so they can announce something, but everybody just keeps talking or finishes their conversation? Thinking “ah well I’ll stop talking in a minute when everyone else stops talking.” Well that, my friends, is called diffusion of responsibility.
You know they want you to be quiet, but you decide to follow everyone else and wait until they are quiet. But, of course, everyone else is also doing that. The result? It takes a good lot longer for everyone to be quiet, or sometimes it results in the person not being able to make the announcement!
I think recovery can sometimes be like this. Many aspects of it, from the “I’ll start recovery tomorrow” (and keep saying that day after day), to other people such as friends and/or family saying “I want to help them, but it’s just too draining and I don’t have the time and patience.. Someone else will do it.”. Essentially, life is full of people avoiding things they ought to be doing.
Avoidance, procrastination and diffusion of responsibility all stem a key problem: people find the rules of society hard to deal with.
What I mean by this is that without social norms of “I must say this” and “I should do that”, there most likely wouldn’t be an issue of procrastination or avoidance, because people would be doing what they wanted to do.
Do you ever feel like everything you do in life are just things that have to be done? They become tasks, no longer a choice. Because, quite simply, we are given an illusion of freedom that is not truly ours.
Our government and world leads us to believe that we are free to act and do as we please, whereas in reality that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Going to school, is it a choice? Yes you choose your school, but you have to go, do the work, spend most your time on your studies.
What about work? Again, you chose your career path, but do you really choose to work? The answer is unfortunately no; without working, we would have no money and would not be able to live. What is money anyway, how does bits of paper and metal rule our lives? Anyway, that’s another point entirely that I shan’t go into today.
Some final thoughts I want to leave you with:
Before just saying ‘take responsibility and don’t expect others to do things for you’, I also want to point out that it is not black and white. There are many grey areas in between. Before instantly jumping on the band wagon and doing something because you are told to do it and you want to please others, first consider what you think about it, whether you want to do it or not.
In a world of little freedom, it is important that for the choices we do have, we choose according you our views, not simply out of the desire to please.
I hope this made sense and you enjoyed this post,
Thanks for reading.